Turner's morning conversation

Turner has had several, actually many many, blog-worthy moments in the past few weeks, but my Internet connection is no longer working at home. I should have it re-connected next week. Until then, I offer the following conversations of Turner from this morning because it is so diverse in nature and is fresh in my mind while I sit in the library terminal with a lady breathing heavily behind ready for her turn on the computer.


This morning I open my eyes to Turner's La La Bear, who had his/her butt splashed across my face. I push La La Bear away and Turner says, "I'm still sleeping Mommy." He rolls over, pulls the prized bear under his chin, and lets out an elongated sigh. I was not trying to wake him up so I didn't argue. I watched his back rise and fall with breath for awhile and just as my eyes drift closed Turner rolls over.
"Mom?"
"Yes?"
"Is today Friday?"
"No."
He pulls La La Bear back to his chest, puts his feet on my knees, and watches me for a minute or so.
"Mom?"
"Yes?"
"What is today?"
"Wednesday."
"Oh." He is quiet again. He makes faces at me. I try to return them.
"Mom?"
"Yes?"
He smiles.
"Turner?"
"Yes?"
"Will you tell me a story?"
"Sure." with delight.
"Once upon a time," I start it for him. He tells me a story that contains: fishing, crackers, water, dolphins, a shiny star with glitter, Mrs. Carolyn (his teacher), La La Bear, and Daddy. In the middle of the story - before the La La Bear and after the shiny star - Turner says the word "time." Then he repeats it with a different accent. First, he says it like those here. The second time he says it more like I'm accustomed to hearing it, where the "i" is a bit nasalized and drug out. He gets lost in the dual-pronunciation for awhile and keeps repeating the word, murmuring quietly different sentences that contain the word. "Once there was a time...and then there was a time...time to...time...tiIme...time to...and then time was...Mom? What time is it?"
The clock rolls over 7:50 a.m. "Is there a 'The End' in there anywhere?"
"Yeah, but I don't want to get clean." Oh, I see. He remembers that he didn't have a bath last night and that he must take a shower this morning.
"Why not?"
"I love you."
"Can I watch three PBSes?"
"You can't watch anything until you get clean." I get out of bed and begin the negotiation process of getting him into clean water and slapping as much soap as possible in his direction. Once he is out and smelling better, we head to breakfast.
He sits at the table while I pour granola and retrieve boiled eggs from the never, neverland of our fridge. He starts to crack one while I work on the other. I pour juice, clean up the oven top, and piddle about while he continues to work on the egg. I am almost to the point of offering my help and he says, "Mom, I need your help."
"What do you want me to do?"
"Watch me." Easy enough. A few minutes later he gets the shell off. "See. I finished it. Where is yours?" I point to it on the counter. "Have you washed it yet?"
"Yes."
"Oh. You were faster than me."
"I have longer fingers."
"Yeah, you're right. It is because you have longer fingers."

At the table, "Turner, good morning."
"Good morning Mommy. Didn't I say that already?"
"Yeah, but I just wanted to say it again."
"You forgot. Stop repeating yourself Mommy." I smile.

On the way to school we wait for traffic to pass so we can make a left turn. "Mommy, why are there so many cars everywhere?"
"Because it is the time of day for there to be many cars."
"Do you miss your car?" (He means the Saturn).
"Yes, sometimes. Do you?"
"Yes, sometimes. Is today Friday?"
"No."
"Yeah, I know. It is Wednesday. I remember."
"What happens on Wednesday?"
"Nothing much good." Hmmm, Southern phonetics and slang all in one morning. It makes me want to thicken up my accent to preserve the roots he is trying to drive down through his.