A transcription.

Tonight I told Turner, "Well I guess I need to be writing some blog about you after my sabbatical." I define sabbatical. He laughs and says it sounds like Mexico. Somehow, in his mouth, it does. He offers to tell me a story and says I can type it up for the blog. He begins and I am still eating my dinner so I miss much of it. In short, it was about how awesome Erin is and how kind she is and what a great friend she is and how beautiful Turner thinks her insides are. And then, how she doesn't get to eat McDonald's french fries either because she knows they will make people fat (Turner and I have had this conversation before over dinner before, about a month ago. He told me, "Hey mom. Erin knows about McDonald's too." "Oh yeah? What does she know." "She says that it is gross and that the french fries will make you fat.")
I finish my fish taco, retrieve the computer, and he dictates this story to me. Enjoy a piece of what is one of my favorite luxuries in life: Turner's storytelling.

Once upon a time, me and Erin ate a lot and a lot of cranberries and we got an eyeball ache. And we wanted to go in and we had to go to the hospital (throws hand in the air) because we were already growns ups and we were already married. So we came home and then it took two three five days for the baby eyeball to come out. And then we took him to our favorite spot to eat cranberries and he ate too many so he got a stomach eyeball ache too and he looked pretty small but we were taller than him and we were also skinny eyeballs. We were as tall as up to my heart [he shows me]. Then we went to the fairytaling yogurt place where you get to have lots of cotton candy and you get to ride on a ferris wheel. Me and Erin rode in a blue one because that is me and Erin's favorite color. And the baby rided in the green one. And we also wanted to end at 8-9-0-6-1 days on eyeball families. And one hundred percent we were going to Kentucky to see our other families. And we also had one hundred percent. And we were all packed up. [Then he lists every member of our family, starting with Bob, as the ones he introduces Erin to during their trip.] So then we decided to have a girl baby. It took two days for the other baby to come out. And we went to the hospital and brought that one home and the other boy baby was taller than her sister. We loved her though.
What did you name your babies?
Kimel and Judy. And they were one hundred percent [must be talking about percents at school or something]. And the boy baby said, "Turn." And he said his first word. And the girl said, "eyeball." And that was both of their first words. And the boy said "friend" and that was his second word. And then I said, "K. It is time for your naps babies." So they slept for one hundred million years and then I said, "K babies. Hi." The end.


Smiley Face Pancakes . . . the start to our day.