Kindergarten update.

This doesn't really count as a blog since I wrote it for a different purpose originally (a response to Thorsten's mom who emailed me with her Kinder woes). I've tried to clean it up a bit so it will make sense without having read her email.

Kindergarten is tough business, but we are in the business of being tough. Are all new Kinder moms this jaded? Probably not. Probably it is just Erika and I, but that is because we both are the kind of mom who enjoys getting lost all day with our little men in imaginative play and not-planned-out-very-well adventures. I thought Kindergarten would big this huge adventure where he came home everyday, like he did with the summer bridge program, excited about all that he that he did. Each day was a new lesson, a new activity, a new friend. Now, however, he comes home exhausted and having learned mostly new rules and ways of behaving (and policing behavior). I can hear you now LaLa, I know all kids aren't as well behaved and that a huge part of Kindergarten is getting kids accustomed to rules and how to follow them. But, what about all those kids sitting there bored out of their mind because they know how to behave already? Well, those kids (Turner) start acting up because they don't want to learn more about rules. They are ready to start learning other things. I don't know. I admitted already I'm jaded. That said, I'm going to volunteer in his class tomorrow, and hopefully that will help me feel more comfortable and knowledgeable about what is going on.

We are packing Turner's lunch everyday (his Hot Rods lunch pail of course). I cut him out a creation each day and write him a message on it. Today it was a star with the S-T-A-R written on it. The best one so far was a flying dinosaur. He wanted me to send that one two days in a row. So, we stuff the lunch box with some interesting creations: edamame, peanut butter on wheat thins, hard boiled eggs, apples, cheese, macaroni and cheese, broccoli, sandwiches. . . just about anything to get all the food groups in. Last week he only got a dessert three days because he was bringing everything home uneaten but the cookies. This week has been a lot better. More often than not, he eats most of his lunch on the way home from school. Two days ago we made mac and cheese, and he complained when I picked him up because I forgot the fork. His teacher opened the container for him, but no one got him a fork. Ugh. Today I wrapped up a turkey and cheese sandwich but he couldn't get the plastic wrap off of it at lunch, so he ate it on the way home from school. It's a learning experience for us both. I think he sits with Margot everyday at lunch. He's mentioned sitting with Thorsten a few times. One thing is for sure, he can't remember anyone else's name. He says he has friends and that he plays with them on the playground (and Thorsten usually), but he can't recall their names.

He's had a few "friend" mishaps though. Emmi hit him one day. She has some kind(s) of developmental issues and has a full-time aid with her while she is in the classroom. But when Emmi hit him, Turner was cool about it and made sure to give her a hug at the end of school (without any prompting). We were walking down the hallway. He said, "Emmi hit me today."
I said, "Oh really. Why? What happened?" (I didn't know Emmi).
Then he walks to this girl who is very large for her age and taller than T. He gives her a hug and then says, "I'm still your friend, okay. Then he grabs my hand and we walk on."
He said to me, "That was Emmi."
I said, "Oh. So why did you hug her?"
He said "Her grandpa said she just gets excited and is trying to hug too hard. So I didn't want her to feel bad for hurting me because it was an accident." Not sure how Turner met her grandfather, but whatever. I was glad to see his thoughtfulness and sensitivity flag flying way high that day.

Another day he came home and the neck of his shirt was all stretched out. He looked like he was bringing back the 80s. He said two of his guy friends were pulling on his shirt while they were sitting inside. Another day he said two boys pushed him on the playground. Today he was kicked (by accident) in the face by another boy on the monkey bars. Turner said the boy walked him to the nurse's office, which I thought was nice.

I just feel so left out of kindergarten, like I don't know anyone and don't have any idea what is really happening at school. He says he isn't learning anything and that he is bored, but he knows new songs so he must be learning something. I was glad to hear this morning about open house next week. Perhaps that will relieve some of my anxiety.

It seems like Turner doesn't really get good reports from school. I mean not that I get a report, or even always get to talk to a teacher when I pick him up or drop him off. (I am missing the Catalina attention-to-parents big time.) But, he told me a couple of days he had to put his head down, and two days ago he got his first day of being in the "role model" box all day. I suppose the other days he wasn't good enough to get into the box. It feels like they are learning so many rules, and perhaps that is because there is such a range in how the kids behave. I don't like the whole strict rhetoric of "bad" and "good" that Turner is coming home with though. Yesterday he told me he didn't make it into the role model box, but that it didn't matter to him because he thought he was being a good boy all day. He was sad. I had no idea what to say. I wanted to whisk him up in my arms and promise he doesn't have to listen to people tell him he's "bad" just because he didn't go above and beyond every moment of the day. I was feeling dramatic. Instead, I just hugged him and said I thought he was so special and that everyone is getting adjusted to school right now and that not everyone can make it into the superstar box all the time. Keep your nose clean, basically, was my advice. Stay outta the way until all the hellions learn some manners and then your light will shine bright enough for the teacher to see it.

I think I'll volunteer on Friday. That might make me feel better and help familiarize me with his classmates. I think he likes school, but he did ask to take this week off. I'm always encouraged when I see Margot and Thorsten there, and Hansana in the hallways. I know at least Turner has a few comrades.